No one ever said creativity grows on trees. At least no one’s ever told me that. I’m pretty sure I’d remember due to that being the type of saying that could lead to someone getting punched in the throat. Having established the non-existence of a creativity tree, one is left wondering where do these creative juices actually come from and can I buy them in bulk from Costco? My stash went dry, and it feels like Omar Little went all stick-up kid on my re-up. It truly is as depressing as it sounds…

I think it’s best that we move on immediately. I’d also like to suggest completely forgetting anything I’ve ever written. Don’t give me that look, this hurts me more than it hurts you. Okay, maybe completely ignore was a bit strong. I’ll also accept mostly, pretty much, or kinda. Right about now you may be thinking something along the lines of, “But, Mike, how are we supposed to forget the gift of words you’ve so graciously bestowed upon us?” The task may seem ludicrous and daunting and intimidating and a bit impossible, but all of that is just a mirage. Don’t believe me, do you? It’s alright. I get it.

Of course, I am the guy who just re-read 10,000+ words of fiction that represented the groundwork for a novel that would have probably sold at least 100 copies to people I may or may not know. I’m the one who was so disgusted by what I read that 3,000 words in I became convinced that some sort of cosmic joke was to blame for the driveling nonsense splashed across my computer screen. At the 7,000 word mark I realized that if I survived the tortuous affair I would have no trouble making it through any future waterboarding sessions. I guess I should be happy that I no longer have to be afraid of Guantanamo Bay…At approximately the 10,348th word I ran out of reasons to continue the intellectual raping of my id and ego, so I did the most logical thing I could think of: permanently deleted that bitch from existence.

It’s like it never happened, and the world may be a better place because of that. What? No, I’m not crying. No I’m not…Seriously, I just got something in my eye. Shouldn’t you be doing some forgetting of your own? Don’t worry about me, I don’t wear shoes with laces in them so there’s nothing to worry about. I’m pretty sure I won’t hate myself much more tomorrow morning than I did this morning…

Hey, how ’bout we pep this bitch the fuck up? Get our cheer on as the cool kids say. I can’t think of anything less depressing or suicide inducing than taking a look back at the year that somehow led me to where I am now. Can you? I didn’t think so. The following are just some of the things I liked, loved, or loathed about 2011. (Side-note: There is no order to what you will read below, especially one of the chronological sort. In fact, I can’t (won’t) even commit to 2011 being the sole year represented in this end-of-year list. Let’s just assume that everything below is probably likelier to have come from the past than the future, and that the present is almost certainly in no way responsible.)

1Q84 by Haruki Murakami is one of the greatest books ever written. The translation from Japanese to English is absolutely flawless according to an unnamed (and imaginary) Japanese source. I’d like to tell you that I hate to call it the perfect novel, but I don’t. It is the perfect novel for crushing the dreams and aspirations of an unpublished author with an unreasonable amount of self-confidence. Thank you Aomame, Tengo, and Fuka-Eri. You can find me in the town of cats.

Odd Future is good. Tyler Comma (aka Tyler, the Creator) is pretty good. But Earl Sweatshirt will be great. The kid’s an absolute fucking monster, and I can only hope that he returns from Samoa with a hunger to demolish all the Drakes and Dom Kennedys of the world. Hip-hop needs you Earl, therefore I need you.

Sandman Slim is my fucking hero! Richard Kadrey is a fucking legend! (Side-note: Skip to the 3:32 mark of that video to hear Kadrey answer my question. MY QUESTION!!)

Lebron James will never be as great as MJ, and that’s more disappointing than anything.

Recently I’ve been accused of being biased against female rappers and white rappers. There’s an underlying truth in there somewhere. However, Azealia Banks is fucking fire. How could I not love filthy verses delivered by a 20-year-old betty from Harlem over British house music?

How is it that Bravo consistently has the worst thing on TV at any given time? If I were in charge of things they would be brought up on charges of treason for trying to kill America through television-terrorism. Seriously, kill yourself Bravo! (Side-note: It’s on right now and the old British lady who belongs to Jiggy just said “cock sock”.)

Kanye West is the most creative person to make music during my lifetime. It was through him that I realized music truly is an art form.

Obama should have saved Bin Laden for like October 2012. Double-tapping him three weeks before the election would have guaranteed a win. You already lived next door to him for months (re: at least a year), what’s another year and a half or so?

Being a Notre Dame fan is as miserable as it sounds. I’m literally convinced they are trying to break my heart. The only upside is that Michael Floyd will be a mid-first round draft pick, and the Falcons could have a chance at him.

Unemployment is a bitch. There is no sugarcoating it. I wish Grantland would hire me, it’s by far the best new website of the year.

You know the mysterious “bandwidth” that is 4G, 3G, Wi-Fi, and phone calls? Where exactly is all this data at? Are we completely engulfed in invisible data at all times? I think we are, and I’m pretty sure in 50 years we’ll realize that there were some unforeseen side-effects.

That’s all for now. Expect more of the same tomorrow. Or it could be completely different. Either way, come back and expect to have your mind blown. You should also be prepared for your expectations to not be met and to once again leave feeling disappointed and a little bit dead inside. Enjoy, and stay thirsty my friends.

So, I’m feeling extra ADD’d out today, and you bet your ass this post is going to reflect my schizoid state of mind. I hope you’re prepared to Taste the Rainbow…

Amy Winehouse died, and I don’t get why people are fronting on my crew like they are all melancholy and the infinite sadness over it. Yes, it’s sad that she died, but only in the way it’s sad when anyone dies. She was just a junkie who had like one or two popular songs a couple years ago. Other than that, I’m pretty sure she was only famous for being a cracked-out crackalicious crackhead. FYI, dying is kinda what junkies do, it’s sorta their thing. I’m just sayin’, stop perpetrating like you even remembered she existed before she died.

I don’t get the hype over Spotify. Maybe it’s just me…

Thundercats debuts tonight on Cartoon Network and I am officially freaking the fuck out. Is it bad that I totally want to have Cheetara’s baby?

How come Weeds is still on TV? Nancy has got to be one of the most frustratingly dumb shit characters of all-time. I do not lie when I tell you that I wish they would kill her ass off Eddard Stark style.

You know how when you get all pissed off at some random stranger for doing something that reaffirms your belief that at least 85% of the people in America should be classified as mentally retarded you wish death or something near it on them? Don’t judge me, I know I’m not the only one. Next time that happens do what I do, and say you hope they break their leg. It’s a totally guilt-free way to get rid of the anger. I’d feel bad if the James Blunt (that’s me getting my cockney on…) who cut me off in traffic actually died; but it’d be fucking hilarious to know that now they have a cast and crutches and whatever else a broken leg entails.

Black Star is coming to Atlanta. That’s Blackstar as in Mos Def and Talib Kweli. Tickets are like $50. I may not be able to afford to see Blackstar as in Mos Def and Talib Kweli.

Okay, that’s all for now. Enjoy, and stay thirsty my friends.

Look, let’s not get into the whole “where the eff have you been?” blame game. I think it’s best for all of us to take any feelings of resentment or abandonment or whatever and just bottle ‘em up. Bury that shit deep inside next to all your broken dreams and birthday wishes that never came true. I mean, that is the American way, right? And I think we can all agree that GeekyPop is as American as apple pie, hot dogs, and trillion-dollar debts. Now that we’ve gotten that madness out of the way, let’s get back to your regularly scheduled programming. In the words of Earl Sweatshirt, “I’m back on my sixty-six sick shit.”

Speaking of Thebe the missing, I want to take a moment to give an official GP endorsement to those hooligans known as Odd Future or OFWGKTA or OddFutureWolgangKillThemAllLitterLifeBaconBoysLoiterSquad. The bandwagon for these kids got really full really quick, so consider this a fashionably late entrance to the party instead of glory hunting. Or don’t, I’m almost positive I’ll live either way. The golfwang hooligans went all Katrina on the music world a few months ago when Tyler Comma (Tyler, the Creator) shat on all of YouTube with his retardedly ill video for “Yonkers“. But February 18 was the day the levees broke thanks to Tyler and Hodgy Beats raping late-night television when Jimmy Fallon brought them on to perform “Sandwitches“. These kids are totally fucking bonkers, and are blowing up as we speak. I’m not going to get all rhetorical by regurgitating a bunch of shit you can get by letting Google into your life; there’s already too many Pitchfork perpetrators out there. Tyler Comma (BTW, I’m going to go ahead and call dibs on that one. Taste the rainbow.) deservedly owns the spotlight for his creation, but I implore you to not make the mistake of ignoring the rest of the collective. Almost all of the music OF has released can be found on their tumblr for free (you know GP endorses any group that chooses to release their music for free), but let’s pretend that you’ll spontaneously combust if you download more than three albums. Radical is one of the dopest mixtapes in years, Mike G’s Ali is understated and glorious awesomeness, and Earl Sweatshirt crushes nearly every MC in hip-hop with the relentless viciousness that is Earl. I want to make sure you understand what I just put out there because the implications could be severe: Earl Sweatshirt will eventually be known as one of the greatest MC’s of all-time. Please. Don’t. Sleep.

Before we leave the world of music behind for the day, let’s reflect on a brand new project that feels like it was made for the enjoyment of people just like me and you and your cousin too. What if I told you that you can get an epic album that will take you straight back to the days of yesteryouth when life was all skateboards and hip-hop flavored skittles? Orly, Phase One, and skipping school only to be chased from the FSU campus with trespass warrant carrying rent-a-cops are only some of the memories that come to mind as I listen to the mashup album Wugazi: 13 Chambers. There are more mashup albums out there than necessary, but the marriage of Fugazi and Wu-Tang Clan is second only to The Grey Album. Yeah, you need to download this album and play it at a high volume…preferrably in a residential area. Finally, I hope you’re all as hyped as I am about Michael Rappaport’s documentary, Beats, Rhymes & Life: The Travels of A Tribe Called Quest. The saga of one of the greatest groups of all-time, and not just in hip-hop, gets the royal treatment from Mr. Rappaport, and it’s apparently fucking amazing. It’s on one of those indie film staggered release schedules, so you’ll have to go here to find out when and where you can go to check it out.

You know what? I think we’ve reached the end of this post. Yeah, I feel pretty good about it, and if you’re reading this sentence you probably do to. Until next time, which will surely come sooner than later. Enjoy, and stay thirsty my friends.

Last Monday I got my false promises on. Talked big only to continue my voluntary leave of absence from the land of the blogosphere. Maybe you got all hype thinking that your dreams were finally coming true and you’d once again have GP in your life. Was it like finding out Santa wasn’t real and that you had been lied to your entire life by people you should have been able to trust when ten days came and went without more GeekyPop? Look, shit happens, what do you want me to say? I’m here now, and I’ve actually got a plan. Kinda…sorta….

I’m not going to commit to updating GP every day. If I did that I’d get all overwhelmed and pissed and stressed and wind up bouncing on this bitch again. Don’t sleep, you know that’s exactly what would happen. I will commit to three posts per week. Which means that you need to commit to reading whatever awesome flavored skittles I put up when I do. Oh, and I’m also going to need you to start telling people about GP.

I know that the prospect of putting people on to a site as banonkers as this must seem intimidating, but it’s actually easy as nuts. Just go up to your friend, or email them, or Facebook them, or Twitter them, or post card them, and tell them that you know why they feel empty as they lay in bed trying to fall asleep each night. Tell ‘em that you felt the same way, and even considered taking drastic measures, like befriending a Canadian or watching the Bravo channel, but then you discovered the heavenly glory known as GeekyPopular. Or you could do what I do and try to convince people they’ll turn ginger if they don’t read me; whatever tickles your pickle.

I need you to do this because knowing that the hundreds of words I write will be studied and worshiped by aliens in the year 2000 isn’t enough to mask the depressing reality realized upon clicking an evil little button called “Site Stats”. I like to imagine that button is a Canadian version of that ginger bastard from Problem Child, and his favorite thing to do is mock me and all three views a post may or may not receive; I’m pretty sure a piece of my soul dies each time I press that button. So, in essence, you’d be saving my life by reading this and getting your comrades to do the same.

In a perfect world this is when I’d get all rainbows and unicorns and all that by telling you things like, “This day is when this will happen, and on that day that will happen.” Well, you know what? Fuck whoever said the world isn’t perfect, because that’s exactly what’s about to happen in this mofo. Like I said right up there, I’ll be doing three posts a week. (Sidenote: Is it weird that I actually pointed “up there” as I typed that last sentence?)

Now, it hasn’t been scientifically proven that I’m a genius (yet), but I’m pretty sure it makes more sense to do one post three days a week than it does to do three posts one day a week. You know me and my irrationally stubborn rule of only acting rationally won’t allow me to do anything other than the thing that makes the most sense. What I’m saying is, mark every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday as mandatory GeekyPop days on every calendar you’ll ever use for the rest of your life. Don’t worry, you totally won’t look crazy.

I know you’re shaking and crying right now wondering what I have in store for you and if I’m about to open that bag of delicious morsels for you to nibble on which will make you be all like, “Yuuummm!! Those sure are some deliciously tasty morsels.” It would literally be physically impossible to stop me from doing just that at this point. JC, David Blaine, and Optimus Prime could be standing right here (not here as in on the screen, but like, here, where I am) telling me the universe will cease to exist if I don’t stop and I’d be all, “Can’t stop. Won’t stop.” (In case you were wondering, yes, I actually am this gangsta.) You may want to sit down for this.

Mondays are going to be representative of a return to the roots of GP’s storied past. The gadgetry and tech mumbo-jumbo that make this world go round and round and round will be covered by yours truly each and every Monday. This will be the GeekyPopular you know and love and have devoted your never-ending love to. I’m pretty sure GP Mondays will wind up going down in history as being one of the most vital tools used by the shadow government to save the interwebs from itself.

Wednesdays will be the day you wake up feeling all warm and fuzzy with the knowledge that at some point that day I’m going to boom-boom-pow your face with a post on your most favoritest thing of all-time: me. It could be anything from me ranting and raving to fictional pieces I’m working on to nothing more than an excuse for me to Bob Loblaw just for the hell of it. Taste the rainbow.

Saturdays menu will consist of that good ol’ fashioned Pop Culture served with a side of skeptical loathing. It’ll be music, movies, games and books that should be considered mandatory enjoyment by all strictly because I say so. This ain’t Care-A-Lot though, so there will be plenty of times where it’s just me and my thoughts on how the media is aiding and abetting in the crime of destroying America by trying to convince our children that the slutty skanks from Teen Mom are “celebrities”. Oh, and just for good measure, once a month or so will be dedicated to the atrocity that is the Bravo channel.

That’s what I have to give, so that’s what you have to take. I thought about this for, like, at least 20 minutes, and feel pretty confident that this is what’s best. I’ll do my part, and I know you’re going to do yours. It’s a no-brainer, how could this not work?

That’s right. Stop the presses. Alert the media. Sound the fucking alarms. The GP is back. I would cliche the hell out this bitch and say it’s also, “better than ever”, but I’m not going to feed you those Lie-berry flavored Skittles. During the prolonged absence, in which the soul of GP walked the proverbial Earth of our collective minds alongside Jules Winnfield and Caine, something happened. We changed. You changed. I changed. This new-new isn’t your mother’s GP; it ain’t kid tested, mother approved like Kix. More like Crunch Berries mixed with Coco Puffs and eaten with Red Bull. That’s right, shit will probably be quite banonkers (dibs on that marriage of bananas and bonkers, btw) at times.

So, why the change? I don’t know, why the hell you on my shoe strings about it? Because I wanted to. I needed to. I don’t even remember when my last post was. That’s why.

Will the content be changing like the times do according to Bob Dylan? Most likely. Signs point to yes. My sources say no. Reply hazy, try again. Shake a magic 8-ball if you want answers to things that are out of your control.

Can you stop being a dick for one moment and be genuine? Fine, if I must. The truth is, I want to be a writer. I’m good at it. It’s probably the one thing I have a chance at succeeding at that’s not named Racel. I own this website, the name, and all the other mumbo-voodoo that goes along with it. It’s like having a notebook that will never run out of paper, and a pen that dips into an infinite well of more pens to replace the one I just lost. If I’m not using this, I’m not going to make it. Truthfully, it’s probably as simple as that. So, what we have here is a failure to give up, yet again. Obviously that will have some effect on GP, but I can’t imagine it will be extremely-ultimate-to-the-max. We’re still going to talk about tech and gadgets and music and whatever other cool shit I want to put to page. We’re still going to hate on bullshit that deserves to be hated on; we might actually be turning that up to 11. And, even more importantly, we’re most definitely still anti-ginger. Basically, everything will be changing back to the same. Sleep tight kiddies, we’ll be watching. Free Earl.

Steve Jobs Is Pissed

They’re calling it “Antennagate.” They’re saying they can’t recommend the iPhone 4. They’re calling it a PR nightmare. They’re making one little slot in the phone a much bigger deal than is necessary.

For the record, I have an iPhone 4 and have had no issue with call qualities. Can I make the bars go down if I hold tightly on to the magic spot? Yes, I can. However, no matter how many (or few) bars I have, calls can be made and answered, and I have not seen a drop in data speeds. In fact, the first call I made on the phone was to my little sister. I was in a room at my gym where reception is shit. I held the phone over the spot, saw the bars go down to about two, and she still heard me perfectly. The problem is that the tech news blogs don’t have a story if they only used experiences similar to mine.

I used to hate the fact that Engadget, Gizmodo, and about a billion other blogs out there were always on Apple’s dick. It was almost like Cupertino was their Jerusalem, and once in they’re lifetime they would make a pilgrimage to the Holy land. It was fucking ridiculous. But then, Jason Chen bought a stolen iPhone 4 and attitudes started to change. The major sites started to realize that maybe The Turtlenecked One was more like Big Brother than they realized. Of course, they all forgot this once the iPhone 4 was officially announced. It was like the girl in high school we all knew who kept going back to the same guy even though he was a total dick to her. It didn’t matter, she “loved him.”

Oh noes! Someone reported issues with calls being dropped and realized it had something to do with the way you held the phone. Steve Jobs even told a customer to chill out and hold the phone differently. And let the shitstorm commence. Do you want to know how big this story has gotten? My in-laws asked us about it this weekend. They don’t frequent tech sites, but they do watch the news, and “Antennagate” was reported with so much frequency that it stuck in their mind long enough to ask us what we thought. I wanted to ask them how they even heard about it, then I realized people were making this a bigger deal than BP shitting oil into our oceans.

On Friday Apple responded; they’re gonna give customers free bumpers. Of course, Old Man Jobs had to act like a spoiled little brat during the press conference pointing out that, “Look, HTC and Nokia and Blackberry do the same things! Why are you picking on me??!? YOU LIKE THEM BETTER, I KNEW IT!!” Did Apple really have to point out all the flaws of their competition? No, they didn’t. I’m sure they felt like they were backed into a corner by the other blogs out there though. He had to point out the antenna issue in other phones because no one noticed it, just like they didn’t notice the issue in the iPhone 4 until a few people started reporting it. I read reviews of The 4 before we got it, and none of them mentioned having the problem. Hell, Consumer Reports even gave the phone a glowing review and recommendation before doing the proper tests on it and unrecommending it. WTF!!!

I’m still not a fan of Apple, and I really don’t like smug-ass Steve Jobs. Fortunately for them, I don’t appreciate tech-blogs selling the mainstream media, and the public, bad Kool-Aid. Yes, I’m aware they a disclaimer of sorts to posts on the subject, but it’s not enough. Yes, I’m also aware that it’s a story that needs to be reported, but does anyone really care? I’m sure the few people who have the problem do, other than that I’d imagine it’s a resounding non-issue.

I feel like the interwebs is on some sort of Apple witch-hunt, only it’s about the wrong thing. How about coming down on the company for making products that they don’t trust us to use? No, it’s not an issue that Apple doesn’t think us capable of changing batteries; but God forbid if we lose a bar or two on our cell-phones. I have an idea, don’t talk on the fucking phone so much!! Don’t sleep, I’m aware that one good thing has come of this: I’ll be able to get a free bumper. Not that I have any plans to cover up the thundersex phone, but I’m still getting one!

Alright, now that that’s out of the way, let’s have today’s lesson in hip-hop. I’ve been super into Jay Electronica lately, and just realized I’ve never really blessed GP readers with his presence. Well, that’s all about to change. Jay is one of the few MC’s in hip-hop who is actually pushing boundaries. A lot of people like to call themselves “artists”, but this dude really is. He’s fucking bonkers, and if you don’t believe me then check the two songs below. The first one, “The Pledge”, is Jay rapping over the score to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Yup, told you he was bonkers! The second is him killing it with Puffy on a track called, “The Ghost of Christopher Wallace.” If you haven’t heard of Jay Electronica by now, keep your open, because this guy is the future!! Enjoy, and stay thirsty my friends.

Anyone who knows me is well aware of the fact that I loathe talking on the telephone. It’s simply an act that I find tiresome, and see no reason why the message can’t be conveyed in an email. Simply put, unless it’s really important, there’s no reason I see to use a phone. I could fund third-world countries with the copious amounts of roll-over minutes I have in my reserves. Anyone who has ever read my writing should be well aware that I don’t exactly feel all fuzzy about Apple. They’re a secretive, manipulative company who sell their product under the guise of being superior to the competition. It’s a ruse that, in my opinion, negates what the company does best, which is make some of the sexiest and innovative products around. You’d think that a telephone made by a company I have a fair amount of disdain for would be something I’d be quick to dismiss, and in the past you’d be spot-on. That was then, this is iPhone 4.

First things first, the iPhone 4 is so thundersex it seems almost impossible. If Megan Fox, Gisele Bundchen, and Johnny Depp had a baby and that baby turned out to be a phone, it’d be the iPhone 4. (Side-note: I threw Johnny Depp out there in a completely heterosexual way to please my female readers.) I love the fact that the curved back of the previous iterations have been tossed out the window. I always hated how my iPod Touch was never truly lying flat, and I would’ve gone fucking nuts if my phone was that way. The aluminum band that wraps around the phone acting as the antenna is beyond nice. And don’t even get me started on the decision to ditch the volume rocker for the new two-button system. Just looking at the phone as it sleeps on a table or desk, you can’t help but admire how beautifully designed it is; Johnny Ive should be proud. This is what Apple excels at, and I have to admit that the iPhone 4 is one of the sexiest gadgets I’ve ever seen.

Only Apple Could Make Something This Sexy

If anything can come close to matching the lust-worthy design of the phone, it’s Apple’s new Retina Display. There’s a lot of tech jargon that could be thrown around here, but I’ve given you quite a bit of that the past two days so we’ll go easy today. Retina Display is what Apple is calling “The sharpest, most vibrant, highest-resolution phone screen ever.” Now, I don’t have much experience with phone screens, as I’ve always hated phones, but I can say that this blows my iPod Touch out of the water. It’s stupid how crisp and clean everything looks, it’s like I was always looking at the iPod with dirty glasses on and the iPhone 4 has cleaned them for me. Honestly, I feel 100% confident in saying the iPhone 4′s Retina Display shits on the competition.

One of the biggest changes accompanying the iPhone 4 is iOS 4, the new operating system. This is the part of the review where my feelings towards Apple will become apparent. When Old Man Jobs announced iOS4 people were creaming over some of it’s functions like multi-tasking, the ability to create folders for Apps, and even the simple task of customizing your phone’s wallpaper. I have had the ability to do that to my iPod Touch for more than a year thanks to Jailbreak.* The fact that Apple has finally decided to implement these basic functions is fucking retarded in my opinion, but at least what they’ve done works fairly well. I’m definitely a fan of the new folder system, and now that I’m used to the multi-tasking I like it just as much. I will say that Apple could make it a little easier to straight-up quit an App, as opposed to the way it is now with it always “backgrounding.” I’m not sure how much battery life these Apps are using when not running, but I’d suggest that if you’re a heavy App user clearing out the multitask menu every few hours. (Side-note: To do that double-click the home button to bring up the multitask menu, then hold down the icons like when you’re deleting them. A red line will show up where the X normally does, hit it and the App is now quit.)

Robot Unicorn Is The Shit!

Those are the main two additions to iOS 4, but that’s not all the “new” that the phone is packing. Inside the sexy body is Apple’s A4 processor, the same one that the iPad rocks. The faster processor makes it possible to run better looking games at a better rate, which really is better. Seriously, games look amazing on this thing. If you don’t play games, you’ll still be shocked at just how much snappier the whole thing feels, even just going through home screens feels much smoother and responsive. The A4 is not only faster, but it’s also smaller which allows for a larger battery. I can’t fully speak on battery life, especially considering that it really varies depending on what you do with your phone, but Apple says you should get 7-hours talk time and 6-hours internet on 3G. I’ll endorse that and say it’s probably accurate, but your mileage may vary.

So, The 4 has the Thunder-Thunder-ThunderSex-Ho body design, and it has the Retina Display that is retardedly amazing looking. Is there anything that could trump those two juggernaut features? When everything the iPhone 4 sports starts to form like Voltron, what’s going to be the head, or the face of The 4? That’s simple, FaceTime. (Side-note: You see what I did there? That’s right, taste the rainbow.)

Getting My FaceTime On!

FaceTime is the totally BadAss feature that allows you to live out your childhood fantasy of video-calling. In this era of Skype and webcams, the notion of video-chatting is nothing new. In fact, video-chatting on your phone isn’t all that new as a few of the better Android phones already allow it. However, the iPhone 4 could wind up being the phone that pulls the function off the best and sets the standard others will be forced to follow. It’s ridiculously easy to use: connect to Wi-Fi, make sure the person you’re calling is also connected to Wi-Fi on their iPhone 4, and then hit the FaceTime button from the in-call menu. If we’re being honest with each other here, it’s actually easier than it sounds. The best part about it is that it works really great; the sound and picture quality is truly outstanding. Trust me when I say you’re going to be blown away the first time you see it or try it, it’s that good. A lot has been made about the fact that it’s Wi-Fi only, but there will be Apps that allow you to do FaceTime over the 3G network, we just have to be patient. If Apple decides to shut the door on FaceTime over 3G, I have no doubt that someone in the Jailbreak community will release a workaround on Cydia. FaceTime may be a novelty, but it’s one of the coolest novelties I’ve seen in a long time, it’s also one of the most well done and promising features Apple implemented on the iPhone 4.

By now you may be wondering if it’s any good at, you know, being a phone. Honestly, I have had no problems whatsoever with call quality, or signal strength. In the cases where I do get fewer bars, it’s always in-doors a dungeon like building and I can still make calls just fine. Of course, I live in metro Atlanta, which gets some of the best AT&T coverage in the country. You may live somewhere else where coverage is not so good, so it doesn’t really matter what I have to say about call quality as you will have a different experience. Just in case you’re wondering, yes, I have used the phone while completely covering that controversial area of the phone and had no problems at all. Again, you will have a different experience than me, and you may need to hold your phone differently.

I got the iPhone 4 because I was sick of carrying around my iPod Touch everywhere I went and never being able to use it the way I wanted it. I want my email wherever I go, I want to be able to check a website out if I’m bored, I want to be able to look up directions if I need to, and I want to be able to use the phone if I so desired. The 4 allows me all of those things and more. It’s stupidly sexy and I honestly can’t think of any reason to tell you not to buy one. Sure, there are ways Apple is still gimping it (no FaceTime on 3G, can’t change out the battery or add memory, limited customization, etc.), but with a bit of creativity and patience you will be able to Jailbreak it to solve those problems. If you were on the fence about buying one, you can rest assured that GeekyPopular doesn’t give a fuck what Consumer Reports says and gives the iPhone 4 a full recommendation.

Now, for a special treat just for you guys. If you were curious about the video quality of the phone, you know the touted 720p video from the 8-megapixel camera on the back of the phone, GeekyPopular has you covered. I recorded a video test from my office today, and you’ll find that down below. And finally, today’s lesson in hip-hop is brought to you by the one and only Big Boi. I know, Daddy Fat Sax has gotten a lot of play at the GP lately, but can you name anyone more deserving? Me neither, especially considering that this latest video is a live performance of the hot-fire track “Shutterbug” from the Jimmy Fallon Show. That’s right, that means he’s performing with The Roots. I told you it was hot-fire. Enjoy, and stay thirsty my friends.

*There’s a community of hackers out there who were sick and tired of Apple locking down the iPhone in ways that were unnecessary, and the Jailbreak community (at least where iDevices are concerned) was born of that frustration. I have a lot of respect for the community behind the scene, and hope to get a few to talk to GeekyPopular in the near future, so we’ll go more in-depth about what exactly Jailbreak is, and what it means, then and there.

GeekyPopular’s iPhone 4 Video Test.

Alright, I’m gonna take a one-day mulligan on the iPhone 4 review. There’s no real reason for it other than I want to. So, you can expect that tomorrow for sure. That’s right, be ready son! If you remember last Friday’s massive post, I was trying to explain some ridiculously exciting tech that is just about beyond my comprehension. Well, if you thought a 3D-TV that didn’t need glasses and could display different images to different people was amazing, be prepared to have your freaking minds blown!

When I think about MIT, images of super smart nerds and geeks that are changing the world comes to mind. What separates MIT nerds from the rest, in my opinion, is that they seem to be a bit more socially aware; I mean, I don’t think of them as the kind of nerd that can’t talk to a normal person. Basically, I think people who go to MIT are the shit, and the team in the Fluid Interfaces Group are the dopest among them all. If the team at Microsoft working on the new displays change the way we think about viewable media, Pravnav Mistry and his posse are going to change the way we interact with the digital world. Seriously, these guys are so beyond anything else that all I can do is hope BP doesn’t use its oil to set the world on fire before their visions become reality.

Mistry and Fluid Interfaces are best known for SixthSense, and that’s got nothing to do with seeing dead people. SixthSense is a massive bowl of futuristic win, and I seriously hope this shit becomes a reality. I’m not going to make another strong, yet feeble, attempt to explain SixthSense. Instead, I’m going to make a lame half-assed attempt. If you saw Minority Report and wanted one of those BA “Finger Computer” things, Fluid Interfaces seems pretty close to making your dreams come true. Basically, Fluid Interfaces is working on a way to take your computer with you everywhere, and interact with it however, and wherever you want. Mistry gave an amazing talk at TED last November and it’s definitely one worth watching.

We’re gonna skip today’s lesson in hip-hop because I’m hella tired. Besides, you’re getting the TED video with Pravnav Mistry and his awesomeness detailing SixthSense. Just because I love you, check out the video for one of their latest creations, Mouseless. These fools at MIT figure out how you can use your mouse, without actually having a mouse. Man, these dudes are so dope, I wonder if they wanna be friends? Enjoy, and stay thirsty my friends.

[Update: This post is super long, so if you're a member of the tl;dr crowd, scroll down to like the last three paragraphs for the most awesomest thing ever. You can also check the source for details written by someone who actually knows what he's talking about. BTW, don't forget that I was published in the ECA newsletter for this amazing article. Taste the rainbow.]

We’ve got a decision to make, and by we I mean you and I. Yeah, you, the one reading this right now. We can go one of two ways here. We could ignore the fact that I haven’t posted regularly for a hot minute and go on like everything is peachy and normal; you know, slow dancing in the rain and all that shit. Or, we could have a nice heart-to-heart and talk about our feelings and emotions about how this has affected us. It’d probably be the kind of talk that leaves at least one of us in tears. Lemme guess, you don’t like either one of those options, do you? Yeah, me neither… Alright, since I’m basically like The King of the internet as far as GeekyPopular is concerned, I’ll give us another option and then choose said option before you even have a chance to consider your options. Yeah, I just used the word “option” three times in one sentence. Do something! The third option we have is for me to give you 1400 words on what I’ve been up to and some stupidly exciting technology that Microsoft is developing. That’s right, you guessed it, the third option wins. BTW, I promise that starting Monday, the GP will be back to life and back to reality, however you want it.

First things first, allow me to hit you in the face with links to some articles I’ve written over at Broke My Controller recently. I wrote about the stereotype that gamers aren’t into sports, then I discussed Carl Johnson from Grove Street, aka the G.O.A.T., after that came my confession to sucking at Mario games, and my recent turn towards the darkside that is Apple. Finally, you get today’s piece on the shit excuse most games are when it comes to storytelling. (Side-note: I just found out my Apple article was published in the latest newsletter from the ECA. They just linked to the article, but still, that shit is major son! I think, I mean, there’s probably tons of people who get the Entertainment Consumers Association newsletter. Whatever, are you in a newsletter??)

On top of all the writing and getting published in major newsletters with billions of viewers I’ve been doing lately, I got an iPhone 4. Yeah, be jealous. Seriously, it’s stupidly nice, be jealous. I love it and it’s fucking full of thundersex. Expect a full review on Monday or Tuesday, it’s going to be epic.

Now, for some news that isn’t all about me and my award-winning articles. (Side-note: You know I’m going to milk this newsletter thing forever. By the end of next week I’ll be equating it to winning a Pulitzer.) I pride myself on keeping up with all things tech, gadget, and videogame. Being someone as in the know as I am, it’s not very often that I hear something that blows me away. Well, today I learned about the future, and it’s being brought to you by Microsoft. I don’t want to pretend that I understand this at all, and I probably won’t be able to explain it in a way that makes sense; that’s because it’s so mind-boggling that I can barely even comprehend it. That doesn’t change the fact that I think you need to hear about it, so I’m going to try to explain it. Before I get started, make sure you head over to SeattlePi Blogs to get a much better explanation.

We all know that everyone in the tech industry, especially those specializing in displays, are creaming themselves over 3D. You can thank James Cameron for that. One of the biggest news makers in 3D lately has been Nintendo and their 3DS, which promises handheld gaming in 3D without the need for glasses. At this year’s E3 Saturo Iwata, the CEO of Nintendo, debuted the product and totally dissed traditional 3D and the lame-ass glasses that come with it. Well, it looks like a team at Microsoft was listening loud and clear, because they are hard at work developing a display that can show 3D without glasses. BTW, this is a full on display that will be like your TV, not some little hand-held thing. Okay, stay with me because this is where things get confusing. (Side-note: Is that really true? Surely it got confusing somewhere in the 700 words before that sentence…)

At E3, Microsoft also blew the roof off of traditional gaming with Kinect. Kinect is a camera peripheral that you connect to your Xbox 360, once it’s connected you are the controller. Instead of holding a controller like gamers have done since Pong, your body acts as the controller. The Kinect camera basically recognizes your body and your movements, then uses that in the game. There’s an animal game, Kinectimals, where you reach out to pet the tiger displayed on your TV from the game. Another game has you racing in track and field type events, so you run and jump in place accordingly. Think the Wii, only your doing all the waggle yourself, not waving around a Wiimote and nunchuck. Personally, I think almost everything about Kinect sounds lame. There are some Minority Report style functions like being able to wave your hand around to fast-forward/rewind a movie on Netflix that I think are cool, and it’s also apparently voice-activated which is pretty cool. Other than that, I wasn’t interested in anything about it until I heard about the story from SeattlePi. Okay, now we get to the juicy bit…

Apparently, the team at Microsoft working on the glassesless-3D-display are incorporating Kinect with it using something they call “wedge” technology. There’s a lot of tech jargon involved in explaining it, so just know that it does some totally badass shit that involves aiming light. They have created something they are calling, The Steerable Auto 3D Stereo Display. It’s a display that uses the “wedge” to bend and aim light in specific enough directions that two people, in the same room and only seated a small distance from each other, will be able to watch two totally different programs on the same screen. This isn’t split-screen, this is full screen viewing. If your mind doesn’t hurt enough just trying to comprehend this you should know that it will be in 3D. The Kinect makes 3D possible by recognizing each person’s eyes individually, and displaying a different image to each eye. I know, shit is crazy.

Let me explain using more brevity. Microsoft is making a 3D TV that you won’t need glasses for. The TV will also be capable of displaying separate shows/movies/games to individual people in a room. If Mrs. Mike want’s to watch Ricky’s American Teenage Baby and I want to watch The Lebronocalypse, we’ll both be able to. If you have a child who wants to watch Kung-Fu Panda for the millionth time, just make him sit in a specific spot and you won’t have to miss a second of the World Cup.

I can’t tell you how amazingly mind-blowing this is to me. This is so futuristic that I had never even considered it. No more arguing over what to watch, just scoot over a little bit. Want to play Grand Theft Auto while your four-year-old watches Dora The Explorer? Then make her sit in her little kid chair. This is SO FUCKING AWESOME!!! If Microsoft pulls this off, and according to the article they’ve already got the prototypes working, then this is beyond major. Honestly, the only thing I can compare it to is the original iPhone. Before that there was no touch-screen in your pocket at all times, now it’s harder to find a phone without touch than with. If and when Microsoft formally announce and launch this display, it will change everything we know and think about technology. If you’ve ever found yourself watching a Blu-Ray in Full-HD 1080p, or playing a game that looks better than you could have ever imagined, you may have thought there’s no way they can make this look any more amazing. I know I have. We were all wrong though, because Microsoft looks poised to change everything. I’m more excited about this tech than I have been about anything for a very long time. I just hope it’s not all hoop dreams and that in a few years I’m rocking one of these bitches in my own home.

SeattlePi posted a few videos of the display in action on their website, and I’m going to share them with you below. Before that though, is this week’s lesson in hip-hop. In my last post I gave you some Big Boi in celebration of his solo album, Sir Luscious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty. We’re gonna keep the ATLien love alive with the video from one of the best songs on the album, “Follow Us”. This shit is super-duper. Enjoy, and stay thirsty my friends.

So, a part of me feels like I should make a feeble attempt at explaining the recent absence of GP from your life. The only problem is that a bigger part of me, like the part that matters, remembers that it’s my site and if I want to get struck with writers’ block and allow myself to be semi-burned out on working a job and writing for three sites, then that’s what I’m gonna do. It’s honestly been a mixture of me being lazy and burned out. Some days it’s not so easy convincing my fingers they should engage in the slow dance with my keys just to birth these words that someone out there inevitably reads.

Work’s been shit, so let’s not go there. Well, then, what’s big in the news? There is something out there people are calling the iPhone 4, that shit’s all over the place these days. I don’t mean literally, and that’s all because Apple and AT&T totally fucked up the preorder process for Cupertino’s latest miracle gadget. I’m going to hesitate talking too much trash on the phone, especially since Mrs. Mike and I should be receiving ours in the mail any day now. Yes, I joined the darkside. I’m basically Lando Calrissian; which is okay by me ‘cuz we all know Lando was fucking BA!

Other than that there’s not much I feel like reporting today. Maybe it’s the waning effects of the writers’ block that had the left side of my brain in a sleeper hold for the past month… I’ll just leave you with a little bit of Big Boi that will be followed by a sprinkling of The Legendary Roots Crew. Big Boi is so ridiculous and when his solo album, Sir Luscious Leftfoot: The Son of Chico Dusty, drops next week the world will wake up. Seriously, the joint leaked early and bonkers doesn’t even begin to describe the ridiculousness. As for The Roots, well, I’m embarrassed to say that I was later to the game than I’d like. I was always one to underrate the legends, but Black Thought is a fucking monster; Top 5 “Current” MC for sure. Their latest album, How I Got Over, was released last week and it’s too good. The video for “Dear God”, which is the one below, is amazing and the song is absolutely beautiful. It’s the kind of song that can turn people into lifelong fans of hip-hop. Get it and rock it hard, it deserves nothing less. Enjoy, and stay thirsty my friends.

Dear God from Okayplayer on Vimeo.